NOTHING GOOD HAVE I…

Nothing good have I,
Thy mercies to plead.
Nothing good have I,
In strength to succeed.

Nothing good have I,
Self to conquer.
Nothing good have I,
Except what thou canst offer.

Nothing good have I,
Good works to do,
Nothing good I have,
Except that I rely wholly upon you.

Nothing good have I,
No power thy praise to sing,
Nothing good have I,
Except Thou art my One and Only King.

I feel weaving of the depth of constraints in the deep of my heart. It is not a struggle against evil and good, but a war on both. There’s a sense of determination, often born of self, that whispers to me, “you can do it.” Oh how often I listen to this voice of doom. How quickly I respond to these echoes of gloom, then I wake up to the true voice of Truth, trying to listen amidst my slumber, and though this voice be gentle and still, it is the one and only most powerful.

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This depth of constraint is beyond my human power to draw within or send without of me. I have no capacity to decide how else I could channel these energies, lest I destroy myself. But I know I am not in the cave of doom. I have been exposed to the Light that dawns upon my soul each morn, and sets with my desires each eve.

But God commendeth His love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8 

Let me then surrender my will to the keeping of the Son of the Morning, for in doing so, my struggle, though real and encompassing, shall not only be a battle against self, but also a final battle against the selfish one, and in the power of the might of the soon coming king, I shall come forth more than a conqueror.

This pendulum of constraint can not long tether me towards destruction and doom. There’s the fulcrum of weight, that weights me in the glories of the heavenlies, and though I be fully wanting and in deceit of heart, He opens my eyes and lifts me up with His hands and places me upon His scale of righteousness. The scale never breaks. The scale never outweighs me. The scale is rightly positioned by the Master’s mighty hand. The scale lands me in the side of my Lord that lives; in whom all the weight of glory is found. Glory eternal. Glory immortal. In whom I shall wait for the glories soon to resound; and there on the eternal throne my voice shall sound. In whom the light of glory shall stream forth, and I shall be exposed to the angelic host, who shall behold me and call me “Blessed”…because the Blessed One has called me to be by His side.

He knew my name while I was not yet even in my mother’s womb;

He knows my name while on earth I have lingered in this sinful tomb.

He will always knows my name when in heaven I shall be forever with the Bridegroom.

This is my earnest prayer and song! Oh that I may sing it soon. 

He shall open my dazed eyes to the work of grace amazing; a cultivation of the Holy Spirit’s virtues upon the soul of my deep longings, and the leaf of character, now blossoming upon my life like a giant tree that provides shade to the weary one on the toilsome way, will give hope and rest beyond the present life; calling His own to the redeemed supper of the Lamb.

Let this constraint be a divine force that gives me the freedom to do that which is right, and soon, very soon, victory is birthed, never to die! 

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Oh that I may know the depths of His character.
And I shall be a partaker of the life hereafter.

Constrain me gently Lord,

That I may do your will, a soul bold.

~Beryl Nyamwange 

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